Finding peace within big life changes

There is so much transition happening at the moment. I have so many friends, family members and clients who are experiencing painful transitions and big life changes. I myself have been challenged in new and deeper ways than I ever expected and as a result I have some suggestions for those of you who are struggling to find your centre in the storm.

Step One: Get still and really honest about whatever you are feeling and give the emotions the space that they need. (If you are in a deeply painful place it is a good idea to do this step with a friend or a coach – whichever feels more appropriate to you)

Our natural inclination can be to run from or numb our uncomfortable feelings. That’s also fine for a while but I think we all know it won’t get us anywhere great long term. Discomfort and big changes walk hand in hand. Change by its very nature is taking us out of our comfort zones so it’s only natural that big changes should bring up some unease. Sit with that. Literally. Go to your meditation cushion/ couch/ playground swing and just BE with whatever feelings you have. Observe the feelings and emotions. Be with them. If pain comes, let it come. If anger comes, let it come. (I have bashed the hell out of a couple of pillows in my time). If booming realizations come, wonderful, just go with it. You have to feel it all to pass through it and you will pass through it, I promise.

Step Two: Move your body. The mental and emotional challenges involved with big changes in our lives can be so charged and depleting. I have found that a walk in nature ALWAYS helps me reset myself and many of my clients have said the same. Not once have I gone for a walk somewhere pretty and come back home worse for it. I like to listen to gentle or uplifting music on my phone while I walk. Nature heals me. Oxygen heals and recharges us. Give your body the chance to release the mental confusion and emotional chatter physically. Choose a form of exercise or activity that you love and give it everything you have got. Then see how you feel afterwards and let me know.

Step Three: Get totally honest and grounded about what you need and express that to others. We are not built to suffer in silence and we need other people. You don’t have to be perfect and it is completely understandable that you might need to just be a mess for a while and not KNOW what you need right away. But when you can identify what would help and support you – ask for it. You might find that you need something different from every person in your life. One friend might be there for you to take your kids for an afternoon while you have a damned good cry. A family member might be able to do your online grocery shopping. A close colleague might give great hugs or be able to bring you your favourite coffee at just the right time. Try to work out what you need and just tell them. You deserve to have your needs met – especially in a difficult time and you will be surprised by how wonderful and willing people can be.

I wish you love and enormous light. If you have read all the way through this post then you have either recently been through a particularly tough time or are going through one right now. My thoughts are with you and I am here if you’d like someone to speak to.

Love, Nix.

nix@nixstephens.com